He Counted the Cost… And He Adopted Me Anyway

One thing I love about God is that He counts the cost of his projects before he starts them. It is not just a mere suggestion that He tells us to do this, but it is a principle of wisdom, that we should apply to the things in our lives because God does.

28 “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it? 29 For if you lay the foundation and are not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule you, 30 saying, ‘This person began to build and wasn’t able to finish.’

                                                                                                            Luke 14:28-30 (NIV)

Why is this so important to me? Because I am one of God’s projects. This principle means that he didn’t decide to adopt me as His child without thinking about all of the ramifications of, and the hard work required to make me his own.

If we look at adoptions here we see the kind of challenges that adoptees would have to learn to overcome to accept love and acceptance from another person. This list is simply a few of the things that adoptive parents must be ready to tackle with patience, hope, and love, to overcome; especially if the children are older than babies before adoption.

Adopted teens can face several challenges, including: 

·         Loss and grief

Adopted teens may experience grief and loss, which can lead to fears of abandonment and rejection. They may also have difficulty letting go and holding on. 

·         Identity

Adopted teens may struggle with their sense of identity, as they have been removed from their birth family and placed into a new family. This can lead to feelings of not belonging. 

·         Self-esteem

Adopted teens may experience issues with self-esteem, and may feel different, out-of-place, or unwelcome in social circles. 

·         Depression

Depression is a mental health disorder that can be a major issue for adopted teens. 

·         Intimacy issues

Adopted teens may have difficulty developing intimate relationships. They may pull away from new friends and adoptive families to avoid repeating the cycle of loss and grief. 

·         Shame

Adopted teens may experience feelings of shame and failure when they don't succeed in taking care of themselves. This can deepen their fear of attachment and connection. 

·         Projection

Adopted teens may project their feelings of anger, rejection, and abandonment onto their adoptive parents. 

                                                                                                                  Google AI-Generated  Listing (10.4.24)

Does this sound familiar to you? Because it sounds familiar to me. I am not adopted but once I was adopted by God, I have to still navigate these identity issues daily; to feel safely placed into God’s family.

14 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. 15 The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.[f] And by him we cry, “Abba,[g] Father.” 16 The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. 17 Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.

                                                                                                                      Romans 8:14-17 (NIV)

After 29 years with God I still at times have shame that I have to overcome before Him. I wrestle with projecting human attributes to a Holy God. My self-esteem takes a hit when I want to identify as his child, but it is hard not to recognize the lack of family resemblance. My overwhelming fear of loss and grief when dealing with the onslaught of emotions that have me thinking that He will abandon me – like others in my past have. The intimacy issues that I have when I think about being honest with God are tremendously hard to overcome because that means that I now have to be honest with myself as well. And don’t even get me started on when I am going through my bouts of depression and am feeling worthless and doubting my being of use to Him in his kingdom.

But God gives us comfort in telling us to call Him “Abba Father.” Abba also means Father, we are to cry out to him “Father, Father” a respectful term but still it connects us with God in a relation of personal intimacy. God knows the challenges He would have to go through and how long it would take to help me understand and accept the new identity of being His child, He counted the cost, willing to put in the work and effort, and he adopted me anyway.