Why Do We Doubt?
“Jesus Walks on the Water
22 Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. 23 After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray. Later that night, he was there alone, 24 and the boat was already a considerable distance from land, buffeted by the waves because the wind was against it.
25 Shortly before dawn Jesus went out to them, walking on the lake. 26 When the disciples saw him walking on the lake, they were terrified. “It’s a ghost,” they said, and cried out in fear.
27 But Jesus immediately said to them: “Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.”
28 “Lord, if it’s you,” Peter replied, “tell me to come to you on the water.”
29 “Come,” he said.
Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, “Lord, save me!”
31 Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “why did you doubt?”
32 And when they climbed into the boat, the wind died down. 33 Then those who were in the boat worshiped him, saying, “Truly you are the Son of God.””
Matthew 14:22-32 (NIV)
Why do we do it? If we truly know the character of God, why does doubting come so easily? You are going along with your life and everything seems to be going okay but then the small whisper to doubt an outcome tickles your ear. You try to clear your mind, “That’s a stupid thought.” sometimes we say to ourselves as we shove it down to the lowest wrung of our psyche. But, like a buoy, in a few moments, it pops back up to the surface of our minds again.
So now you aren’t just chastising yourself for having the thought but you’re also doing it because you allowed this negative thought to resurface. We try to think of something else, “Something positive”, you say to yourself. But, the thought returns, and now it is bigger and certainly more resilient. “You know that you can never overcome your laziness right?” or “Why do you never learn? You have already overspent again this month, and you have another week and a half to go!” or “I promised myself that I was going to keep up my exercise program and eat more healthy meals; that was at the beginning of the year and instead I just gained another 10 lbs. - it’s hopeless.”
Didn’t the Bible say that I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me? (Philippians 4:13) So then why am I always so weak when it comes to denying myself?
Because like Peter we let our faith shrink according to what we see around us. Peter misunderstood what was happening. Peter wasn’t walking on the water himself God was on the water and using Peter’s body to do it.
The scriptures tell us that “It is in him that we live and move and have our being…” (Acts 17:28). It is God who leads us. When Peter started to see the storm swirling around him he probably started thinking something like “I can’t do this! This is crazy!’ And he would have been right to think it- he couldn’t do it, he never could, and he never did. It was God all along.
When we see the winds and the waves in our own life can we remember that we are not overcoming the storms; God is. God never loses his power, God is never worried that he can’t get something done. God is the one who does the impossible - through us. So yes, I don’t exercise enough, I eat the wrong foods, I don’t spend wisely, and the mere thought of how undisciplined I am drains my energy and throws me into a lazy state of being. I can’t do these things on my own, I need God’s miracles, and I need his Spirit moving through me to accomplish and overcome any of these challenges in my life.
The inability to do these things is my natural state of being, just like sinking in the water, rather than walking on it, is Peter’s natural state of being.
What we have to remember is, we always get it wrong, and if we ever get it right? It isn’t us who is doing it - it is God; always. Then why should we doubt and to begin to sink?
Instead, we should be in awe when we walk on the water, at all. On my “good days” when I am productive, eat healthily, exercise consistently, and spend sparingly - that is me walking on the water, and it is a true miracle. And God does it through me and for me. I do not need to doubt or fear and if He is willing he will help me again tomorrow too. I don’t doubt it.
